Thursday, May 29, 2008

Out of commission

Sorry for the lack of blog posts lately. I'm recovering from oral surgery and it's taking a lot longer to return to normal than I expected. Plus, it's kind of hard to think clearly when you're doped up on painkillers.

It was supposed to be a simple surgery but it turned into an epic production. I had to be put under so the surgeon could remove two adult teeth that had never come down. The teeth needed to be taken out so that there would be room to put in implants when my baby teeth fall out (yes, that's right. I still have two baby teeth. You want to talk about being immune to aging? Peter Pan has got nothing on me).

But when the surgeon opened me up, he couldn't tell tooth from bone and spent the next three hours cutting my teeth into little pieces to extract them from the jawbone. To make matters worse, I kept waking up from the anesthetic.

They told me I woke up several times during the surgery but I only remember waking up once. I wasn't fully awake, though. Everything was very foggy. I felt like I was underwater. I remember hearing the drill. I remember moaning. I remember hearing the doctor say something about giving me morphine and I felt him stick a needle in my mouth. I remember hearing the drill again. I tried to open my eyes to let them know I was still awake but I couldn't move. And then I slipped back into unconsciousness.

You might think it would be horrifying to wake up in the middle of surgery. But it wasn't. I was so out of it that while I was aware of what was happening, I didn't care. I simply didn't care. And I say this as someone who suffers from extreme dental anxiety.

It was kind of like waking up from a dream and then falling back asleep again. I don't know what kind of drugs they were giving me but whatever they were, they were very, very good.

Anyway, it's been a week since the surgery and the pain is finally starting to ease off. That's not to say I'm no longer in pain. Everything still hurts, just not as much. My mouth is still too sore to chew and I've been on a diet of soups and smoothies for the past seven days.

On the upside, I can fit into my skinny jeans and my puffy lips make me look like Julia Roberts. And it's always better to lose teeth as an adult rather than as a child because you get treats like valium and morphine instead of a lousy quarter from the Tooth Fairy.

I've been off work all week and have been doing nothing but lying on the couch watching movies. So I thought I would post some mini movie reviews up on my blog until I'm off the pain pills and can think clearly again.

Lars and the Real Girl: Very good. A little precious but not overly so. Didn't think the community's acceptance of Lars' mental illness and his plastic girlfriend was very realistic but was touched by the movie nevertheless. (Although am not entirely sure if warm, fuzzy feeling was due to the movie or the percocet.)

Let's All Hate Toronto: I watched this one twice. But only because I fell asleep the first time. I liked the concept of a traveling "Toronto Appreciation Day" but the execution was a little flat. It wasn't as funny as it could have been. Needed Rick Mercer in the lead role.

Onibaba: Weird, old Japanese movie. It was kind of annoying and boring at first. Started getting into it towards the end of the movie. Overall, pretty good (again, that may be the percocet talking).

Suicide Club: Another weird Japanese movie. Thought it was going to be a thought-provoking film on Japan's high suicide rate but turned out to be a violent slasher film with lots of blood and gore. Plot seemed to be missing but strangely entertaining.

Extras (Season 1 & 2): Brilliant. Is it just me or is Ricky Gervais playing the exact same character on Extras that he played on the Office? It's like watching a show about David Brent after he quits Wernham Hogg and decides to become an extra. It's still awesome, though.

27 Dresses: Horrible. I love bad chick flicks but this was just bad. Follows every romantic comedy formula but without any laughs along the way. Thought I would be able to relate since I am always a bridesmaid, never a bride. But main character got married in the end. Stupid Hollywood ending. How about a movie where the girl never gets the guy and ends up alone for the rest of her life?

Tsotsi: Very good. Depressing, though. Alternated between emphasizing with Tsotsi and wanting to smack him upside the head.

How She Move: You can't ever go wrong with a movie about a girl who dances her way out of poverty. It's been done before but it never gets old. Bonus points for being set and filmed in Toronto. Minus points for reshooting the movie and removing the references to Toronto.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: Also very good. Very bleak but not overly so. Enjoyed the sarcastic humour. Felt like a baby for whining about tooth pain.

Souvenir of Canada: Excellent. Had feelings of national pride while watching this. Canada is a good country and Douglas Coupland is a fine ambassador.

Sex and the City: I have free tickets to see this at 9:30 tomorrow morning. Should be fun.

And on that note, I'm heading back to the couch for more movies. Hope to be back to my normal blogging self within a week or two. Until then . . .

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